Pictures of Colby

Colby hits 5 pounds!

He is growing like a weed! I think it was Friday night when he hit the 5 lb mark - yea! We are trying to spend a lot of time at the hospital, and trying to get in two practice feedings a day. The nursing is going slow, but Colby is getting stronger, little by little. We still don't have an estimated date of his homecoming, but hope it won't be too much longer. It will be nice to get into a routine at home instead of having to go back and forth to the hospital. I know having him at home will be hard too, but I'm looking forward to having him here. Right now, he is taking 44 mL of milk at each feeding (8 times a day) and the most he has taken from me is 14 mL so we have a ways to go, but maybe this week things will "click" with him.

We will add some new pictures soon!

Thanks, updates, etc.

Thank you's part II;
I would like to personally thank my brother Allen, who after hearing the hurt in my voice as I described Gavin's situation on Wednesday morning (Aug 13), promptly packed and flew up from Tampa to be with us that same afternoon and then spent over a week by our sides assisting us in many ways. It allowed me to spend more time with Jennifer and our two boys as he handled many phone calls, kept our dogs and house in a somewhat normal state, and assisted in many planning issues. Allen missed the first day of school for his children, a stressful cheer leading audition (that turned out successful!), and on top of everything, had a hurricane threatening to hit the Tampa area as well.

As Jennifer stated, there are simply too many friends and family to mention in a thank you message, but we know who you are, from all the visits, meal drop offs, restaurant donation/set up and food, memorial donations, nursery work, emails, cards, flowers, and more. The hospital staff at Wake Med, the Sacred Heart Cathedral (Father Sal & Cindy Fitzgerald) and St. Joseph's Catholic Church (Father Williams, who baptized Gavin sometime after 2am on Aug 13) also deserve a special thank you, for their professionalism as well as their true compassion. And lets not forget about the Fetal Care Center of Cincinnati, who gave both our boys a chance after successful laser surgery.

Colebank Miller Guy;
Colby is inching ever so closely to 5lbs (his last weight was 4lbs 14oz). He is still feeding "some" on his own, and is doing a little better each day at it. He sleeps alot (which is good for his growth). We do get to hold him at times (other than just the feeding times). When awake, he looks around, tugs at his feeding tube with his little hands, likes to squirm, coo's and squeaks, will lift his head on occasion, and will literally "crawl" up our chest while "kangerooing." He can be a very active premie at times. He cries some, but thankfully not much (for now!).

Colby is a miracle baby for sure. He survived the TTTS laser surgery in May (and both boys were in critical condition at that time) and he then survived the "whatever it was" that got to Gavin (most likely an infection of some sort). With the twins so close and sharing amniotic fluid, he could have been (or should have been) exposed to the same bug. As tragic and unfair as losing Gavin was, it could have been much much worse, which is almost impossible to comprehend. Thank God for Colby.

Jennifer & Steve;
Jennifer is driving again and is still recovering well from the C Section. She is getting stronger every day (like Colby). She is very sad at times (and she should be sad). She is also very happy at times as well (especially when holding or feeding Colby). I have "my moments" for sure (and will have my moments for the rest of my life), but if Colby and Jennifer are doing well, I am doing well, simple as that.

With love,
Steve

Thank You!

We will never be able to personally thank everyone who has helped us over the last few months, so this is our attempt to thank all of you!

Thank you for all of your support last week during our loss of Gavin. We really appreciate everything that was done to help celebrate his short life, and the support you all showed Steve and I at his funeral service. Planning that day was very difficult, but it was beautiful, and we are so glad that so many chose to share that time with us. We do not know who did what, or who brought what for the event at The Pit, but we appreciate all of it! We are grateful to have so many people who care about us!

Thank you for all of the visits, flowers, candy, magazines, calls, emails, meals, etc. while I was at home and while I was in the hospital. The visits were especially nice, and I really appreciate the time you took to entertain me!

Thank you for all of the cards and flowers you have sent to the house. This continues to be a difficult time for us as we are torn between mourning for Gavin and celebrating for Colby. These feelings are reflected in the emails, calls, and cards we receive from all of you. Thank you for thinking of us!

Thank you for the donations you have made, and continue to make in Gavin's memory. We have been notified of donations to the March of Dimes, Wake Med Foundation, and The Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation. If you would still like to make a donation, and are looking for an organization we have a local suggestion - April's Angels. Steve and I worked with this organization last fall, and it meant a lot to us. April's Angels is an organization that redecorates the bedroom of chronically ill children. The bedrooms are re-done to create a fantasy room for the sick child. April's Angels was started and is run by a woman in Cary. Check them out at: www.aprilsangels.org

Thank you all again for everything!

Colby update

Just a quick update on Colby. He is doing great! He is up to 4lbs 9oz's, has advanced to the least level of care in the intensive care nursery, is maintaining his body temp and is in a modified open air crib (as of today). He is simply labeled a "grower and feeder," which means he just needs to grow some more and learn how to suckle stronger so he can eat on his own (he still has a feeding tube, which is supplying the vast majority of his nourishment). Being 2 mos premature, this is expected, as he is not quite big and strong enough to get all the food he needs.

There is no set time table for his release from the hospital, since no one knows when he will be be strong enough to eat "for himself." Best guess is two or three weeks if he continues on the track he is on.

Jennifer is doing pretty good, considering everything. Her recovery from the C section is going smoothly, and being able to do some "light tasks" is very good for her after 4 mos of modified and hospital bed rest. However, both of us are still devastated by the loss of little Gavin, and are still on a roller coaster of emotions and will be for quite some time. We are thankfully resting well and eating well, so we can be ready for Colby's arrival home. We are spending alot of time with Colby, which helps the both of us (actually, the three of us).
sg

Gavin's short life

Gavin was born at 4:11am on August 12, 2008 and was a very sick little boy from the start. The Dr's best guess at this point is that an infection or a virus got to him shortly before birth (could have been days or even hours before birth). This unfortunate occurrence was most likely not related to the TTTS at all (which actually makes all of this even harder to bear). No conclusive evidence has been found to support the infection/virus theory (negative cultures thus far), but the fact that Jennifer's temperature spiked to 101 and she was violently ill the hour or two before delivery strongly suggests it. The premature rupture of the membranes (water breaking) made the twins more susceptible to an infection as well (which we were well aware of). Also, his compromised body functions and subsequent organ failures resembled an infection/virus that was going haywire inside of his little body. Unfortunately, he did not respond to massive doses of antibiotics or antiviral medicine, and his liver and then his kidney's started to fail.

Even though Gavin was sick and struggling, he was full of fight and life for the four short days we had with him. We had a few fleeting moments of hope for him, as he made some slight improvements from time to time, but he truly never made much progress even though he was obviously fighting very hard (surprising all of the Dr's with his determination and his strength). He then sadly started declining as the end drew nearer. During his way too short life, Gavin opened his eyes some, he kicked and squirmed, he reacted to touch and to sounds, he would flinch/jump at a camera's flash, and he was able to squeeze and hold a finger with his little hands up until the moment that he drew his last little breath. Many family members and a few friends got to meet Gavin, hold his hand, speak to him and pray with him. Daddy even got to change his diaper. He was also baptized his second day here on earth.

He passed away laying peacefully holding his daddy's finger while being cradled in both of our arms. We sang lullabies to him and talked to him constantly and kissed him many times in the hours before (and while) he passed. He left us about the same time of the day as he arrived, around 4:15am. His twin brother Colby was just a few feet away. As amazingly difficult and heartbreaking his last hours and minutes with us were, thankfully, it was peaceful for all.

Joy and Pain

I cannot begin to explain the joy and pain we are experiencing. It is the hardest time of our lives, as well as the most joyous. Literally, we cry as hard as anyone can cry about Gavin, and moments later, we can smile and feel wonderful about Colby.
Add in a bit of numbness at times, and then start the process all over again. Like Jennifer said, a roller coaster, maybe the world's largest roller coaster, and like Dickens (as Charles posted), it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

We are also in a whirlwind, spending time with Colby, family, and friends, Jennifer recovering from a C section, little sleep, and trying to figure out memorial plans as well as a departure date from the hospital.

We have a few posts left for this blog, as I don't feel like letting go of this twins page quite yet. It has brought so much information to family and friends about our up and down journey (since May), with close to 2,500 hits to date.

Keep the prayers and thoughts coming as we recover and heal.
With love-
The Guys